Gregor Samsa felt very strange that morning. He felt strangely powerful when he woke up that morning. Odd, only last night he crashed into bed due to exhaustion. But this morning when he woke up, he felt like Superman! He pondered about that for a moment more, before glancing at the alarm cloak. His eyes widen in horror. Holy Mother! It’s already half past seven? I’m late!
Quickly, he shot out of bed. He noticed that the floor look strangely further than usual. And that the ceiling was closer, much closer than what he used to. It was then he noted his hair, his strangely long and silver hair. What? Since when my hair is this long, and I do not remember dying it silver. As he was busy thinking contemplating this, he saw his dressing table. Quickly, he moved to the mirror to verify himself. He nearly screamed when he did.
Quickly, he shot out of bed. He noticed that the floor look strangely further than usual. And that the ceiling was closer, much closer than what he used to. It was then he noted his hair, his strangely long and silver hair. What? Since when my hair is this long, and I do not remember dying it silver. As he was busy thinking contemplating this, he saw his dressing table. Quickly, he moved to the mirror to verify himself. He nearly screamed when he did.
The man staring back at him from the mirror was not the man Gregor Samsa was yesterday night. Gregor studied his reflection and gulped. Holy Mother! What happened to me? For starters, he had just turn from a midget of 156 cm to more than a 2 meter tall person. His smooth, silky hair grew all the way to his hip. Not to mention the odd silver colour. Gregor observed that his eyes had turn into the brightest shade of green he could imagine. Additionally, those emerald orbs seem to glow with a life of their own. But what struck him as odd was that his iris was slitted, like a cat’s. Gregor’s body was not spared from the strange transformation. On top of being taller, Gregor discovered his body became more muscled. Not the big knots of a body builder, rather the kind that constantly work out. His body was lean, despite its muscled nature.
For the first time ever, Gregor was at a lost. He slumped to the floor, not knowing what to do to overcome this sudden steep curve ball. ‘Don’t feel so lost, child,’ Gregor shot up when he heard that voice. W-who’s there? Show yourself! He demanded as he looked around frantically. But the only sound that answered him was the soft patters of rain beating his window.
A sudden chime broke him out his reverie. A quick gaze at the clock showed it was already seven. Gregor knew by then he would not make it to work on time. By now the company’s porter would have noticed him missing from the five o’clock train. The next train would have left the station a few seconds ago. His only hope for transport is the nine o’clock train. But by then the company would have sent their men knocking on his doorstep, inquiring about his absence.
As he was torn between going to work and staying home, he heard a soft rapping on his door. “Gregor?” came his mother’s voice. “It’s already seven. Had you not a train to catch?” that gentle voice caused him to snap out of his thoughts. “Yes, yes mother I’m about done here,” Thankfully, his voice remain unchanged. However, this brief exchange had the unwanted effect of making the other family members aware of Gregor’s presence in the home.
One by one his family knocked on his door, voicing their concern when he did not leave for work. After much persuasion that he was fine and well, they finally leave him alone. Gregor started to dress himself when he realized his clothes just will not fit him anymore. Frustrated at this growth spurt, he sat on his bed. He barely settled down when he heard it again. ’Look at the foot of your closet,’ Again, Gregor found himself searching wildly around for that voice’s owner. Once again, his search was in vain. Assuming that he had nothing to lose, he did as The Voice told him. Surprisingly, he did found something he could wear. But the style was quite alien to him. The attire consist of a high-collared leather trench coat, tight leather pants with matching shirt, a pair of arm guards and gloves, and a pair of leather boots. All of them are in black.
As he was admiring himself in the mirror, his door was knocked again. This time his sister whispered quietly. “Gregor, the chief clerk’s is here,” Gritting his teeth in frustration, Gregor acknowledged it with a nod. “Gregor,” this time it was his father’s voice. “The chief clerk is here and he wants to know why you missed the early train. We do not know what to tell him. Besides he wants to talk to you in person. So open the door please,” Gregor felt a hot sensation of fury boiling within him. ‘Do not know what to tell him’? He thought mockingly. Or you are nothing but cowards who will not even defend your own son? Catching himself, Gregor blinked and chased away that thought. Where did that come from?
“Good morning Mr. Samsa,” The chief clerk’s voice called out pleasantly. But Gregor’s instincts told him to be wary of this serpent. “He is not feeling well,” came his mother’s worried voice. Oh, I’m feeling just fine mother. Then, his father’s voice spoke up, but Gregor tuned it out halfway through as it was full of lines meant to please the backstabbing serpent. Maintaining his silence, Gregor heard the chief clerk speak, “I can’t think of any reason madam. I hope it’s nothing serious. Although on the other hand I must say that we men of business—fortunately or unfortunately—very often simply have to ignore any slight indisposition, since business must be attended to,” Right, business must be attended to, eh? What about if I impale you with a sword? Business as usual still? Again, Gregor was amazed as that violent thought made its way again. He could have sworn those thoughts came naturally to him. It was almost scary. “Well, can the chief clerk go in now?” his father asked again. This time there was a trace of impatience in his voice.
Again, Gregor chose to maintain his silence. He wanted, more than anything, to open that door, and kill that forked tongue serpent, but what would happen then? How would he explain to them about his changes? "Mr. Samsa," the chief clerk called now in a louder voice, "what's the matter with you? Here you are, barricading yourself in your room, causing your parents a lot of unnecessary trouble and neglecting—I mention this only in passing—neglecting your business duties in an incredible fashion. I am speaking here in the name of your parents and of your chief, and I beg you quite seriously to give me an immediate and precise explanation. You amaze me, you amaze me. I thought you were a quiet, dependable person, and now all at once you seem bent on making a disgraceful exhibition of yourself. The chief did hint to me early this morning a possible explanation for your disappearance—with reference to the cash payments that were entrusted to you recently—but I almost pledged my solemn word of honor that this could not be so. But now that I see how incredibly obstinate you are, I no longer have the slightest desire to take your part at all. And your position in the firm is not so unassailable. I came with the intention of telling you all this in private, but since you are wasting my time so needlessly I don't see why your parents shouldn't hear it too. For some time past your work has been most unsatisfactory; this is not the season of the year for a business boom, of course, we admit that, but a season of the year for doing no business at all, that does not exist, Mr. Samsa, must not exist."
Gregor felt enraged by that comment. So great was his rage, his hands curled to form tight fists. Gnashing his teeth together he immediately stood up and marched to the door. Unlocking it, he opened the wooden portal. Surprise lit up the faces of all that gathered there at the sudden opening. But that quickly turned to shock as they saw the person opening it. Quickly, Gregor grabbed the chief clerk by his neck with a hand and slammed him to the opposite wall. He held the poor man by several centimetres above the floor; his feet dangling helplessly. The chief clerk gasped for breathe as his eyes widen horrifically. Gregor watched with a extraordinary sense of satisfaction as the smaller man struggled to release his grip.
Raising him to eye level, Gregor said in a low voice, “I would strongly suggest that you remove yourself from this property before I personally see to your own cremation,” Afraid for his own life, the chief clerk nodded rapidly, his chin hitting Gregor’s hand several times. Satisfied, Gregor released the frightened man. The chief clerk did not waste any time and dashed down the stairs, right out of the house. Sighing, Gregor turned to his family. Its just one hurdle after another isn’t it. His mother was eyeing up and down in wonder and awe, while his father looked at him with suspicion.
Finally after a long silence, it was Gregor that broke it up. “Mother, father. This is still me. I’m still Gregor Samsa, even if I am changed physically,” hesitantly, his mother walked to him. Slowly, she raised her hands and cupped his cheek. “Gregor?” she asked tentatively. “Is that really you?” The silver-haired youth could only nod and replied weakly, “Yes, mother. It’s me,”
Later that evening, Gregor sits alone in the living room. He was sitting by the reading table with the table lamp switched on. Spread in front of him was the daily newspaper’s Classified sections. His actions this morning was not too pleasing for the chief clerk, and he figured that he might as well try to find a new job. After all, he was the only one that could support his family. Another thing he noticed about his transformation was that his mind was sharper. He could perceive and understand the world around him in a new light. It is as if someone had turned on the light bulb in his head. With that bulb on, it provides him with new knowledge and understanding of the world around him. He could understand the various mathematical solutions that were otherwise looked like groups of numbers to him yesterday. He could also see through the many political maneuvers done by the politicians as he read the day’s newspaper.
Gregor sighs and leaned back in the comfortable chair. Many things happened today that he did not understand. First his transformation, followed by The Voice and finally his sudden violent urges. ’Your urges are signs that you are ready, child,’ Gregor rolled his eyes at that. Oh no, not you again. What is it you want from me, woman? Or are you still not willing to show yourself to me? This time to his surprise, soft laughter rang in his head. And to his greater surprise, The Voice did reply to him this time. ‘Not yet child. But soon I will tell you everything’.
Life for the Samsa family resume like normal several days later. It took a few days for the family members to get used to Gregor’s transformation. But in the end, even the father could be seen relaxed in his son’s presence. The same goes for his sister, though she took less time than their father. As for Gregor, now that he was unemployed (he received his resignation letter a day after his transformation), he could freely go about and help with the chores. Being unable to sit around idle, Gregor did what he can. He cleaned the windows, the ceilings, and even the floor; anything to get rid of the growing sense of boredom inside him.
‘Soon child. Soon I will come to and you will stand by your rightful place,’ The Voice always whispered this or something along this line whenever Gregor felt bored and discouraged by the lack of activity. Partly, he felt puzzled by what it meant. But for the most part, he felt eager to work again.
At one point, about 2 months after Gregor’s transformation, the family held a meeting. His mentioned about the almost critical economic condition of the family. Gregor failed to find a single job since the day he was fired. For his part, he suspected the chief clerk must have spread out false lies and rumours about him. Every time he went for an interview, the interviewer would often gaze at him with fear in their eyes. As if afraid he was going to produce a gun and kill them all. Hence the family was without any source of income for two months. They had to live by what little savings Gregor’s father had from his company’s leftover funds. As such, they were forced to take on lodgers as a means to support the family.
The problem with this method would be that Gregor did not like the lodgers at all. All of them acted as if they were the owners of the house. They would comment on the vainest of things such as the colour of the carpet or the position of a particular flower vase. The worst of them was when he caught the lodgers’ teenage son staring at his sister. Normally Gregor would allow for some allowance for this hormone-induced behaviour. But when he detected the teen was staring at her like a wolf would a sheep, he felt he had to take action. But what sort of action could he take? His parents had explicitly forbidden him to even speak to the lodgers unless he was spoken to. The silver-haired young man feels annoyed at this situation.
‘Patience child. Just a hang on a bit more and you will be able to join me,’ Gregor could not help but smiled. You again? You have been saying that same thing for the past 2 months now. Yet I never saw any sign of you fulfilling your promise. The Voice chuckled lightly at that jibe. ‘Oh always the impatient one, are you? Just hold on a bit more and we can remove these infidels from this world for good,’ To say Gregor was shocked was an understatement. But a after a moment of consideration, he dismissed it as a joke made by The Voice.
That evening, as Gregor retreated to his studies after dinner he caught the distinct sound of a violin being played. For a while, he was puzzled as to who in the house-hold could play the violin. Mesmerized, he retraces his way back to the living room. There, he was greeted with the scene that would be etched forever in his memories. Playing a solo tune on the music stand, was none other than Gregor’s own sister, Greta. The look of pure concentration and determination on her face could have been comical in other cases. But in this case, Gregor knew it was only her own steel nerves that rooted her to the stand and continue playing the instrument. Gregor knew how shy her sister was. Oh yes, he knew about it. More than perhaps even their parents do. She was shy to play her violin, even though she could play the instrument and its musical piece perfectly. Sitting nearby were the three lodgers, with the teen being in the middle. Gregor’s parents were sitting at the edge of the room. The whole chamber was quiet as Greta played a tantalizing tune she learned from her musical classes.
Once again Gregor observed the teen lodger staring at his sister. This time there was an unmistakable look of hunger in those pale blue eyes of his. Gregor frowned deeply. He was about to move and throw the youngster out when there was a high pitched noise followed by a surprised shriek from Greta. Gregor took a moment to examine her. Apparently one of her violin strings had snapped. Embarrassed, she bowed low and quickly retreated to her room. Sighing, Gregor shook his head and left for his room as well, leaving his parents to deal with the lodgers.
That night, Gregor was assaulted by various dreams. Many of these dreams had been him wielding a long sword almost his own height and going about killing many people. He sees himself impaling a woman with his sword, while decapitating a child in another vision. The background was always the same; a burning urban area. Then he would see himself walking to some sort of a pedestal with a large glass tube. The tube was filled with clear liquid of unknown origin. But the content of the tube was what drew him. The creature held within the tube looked remotely human, but he could be wrong. The creature’s shape was always blurry whenever he reached this stage of the dreams. But on top of the glass tube, Gregor could clearly make out the letters printed on the metal plates. It was always printed as JENOVA.
A pair of green, slitted eyes snapped opened. Gregor immediately sit up and began to take in deep, calming breathes. He realized he was sweating heavily and that his hair, along with his bed sheet was wet from his perspirations. That dream again. I was having that same dream for a week now. Deciding that a glass of water was in order, Gregor left his room for the kitchen. Having satisfied his thirst, the silver-haired man returned to his room. He was halfway up the stairs when he heard a scream.
Looking up, he quickly discerned that it originated from the first floor. Clearing the rest of the flight with a single bound, Gregor made his way to the source. He realizes with a sinking feeling that he was heading to his sister’s room. Gritting his teeth, he hastens himself. When he reached her room, he noticed the door was slightly ajar. Muffled voices could be heard from inside. Feeling his anger boiling anew, Gregor kicks the door off its hinges and dashes in. His 2-months-old night vision gave him a clear view of the scene in front as though it was day light. The teenage lodger was on top of his sister, and he was forcing his way with her. ‘Give in to your anger,’ Grudgingly, Gregor gave in, allowing his dark rage to consume him. He allowed his instincts to move him. He felt his body flying forward. He was dimly aware his right hand swung outwards and connected itself with the teen’s jaw. ‘Summon your instrument of doom,’ Gregor, still in a daze, held his left hand out, palms facing outward. The teenager grabbed a table lamp and leaped at the elder Samsa sibling. Black feathers filled the room as a long singled-edged sword materialized itself in Gregor’s left hand. The sword was as long as Gregor was tall. With his free hand Gregor easily caught the overhead swing from the lodger. Now with the boy within his sight once again, Gregor felt an overwhelm sense of hate filling his every fiber. The hatred caused his killing urges to rise. ‘Strike your enemy down. He deserves it,’ Visions of the teen staring lustily for his sister filled Gregor’s mind, strengthening his hatred for the boy. Gripping the sword tighter, Gregor threw the table lamp aside before spinning his torso around rapidly. The momentum of the spin caused him to perform several rapid horizontal and diagonal slashes on the lodger’s body.
After a final horizontal slash, Gregor felt the red haze surrounding him gradually lift. He looked around and realized he had done something horrible. Lowering his gaze, he saw the teen lodger, or what was left of him. To his left was his sister. She was looking at him with a look of utmost horror and fear. Her face was pale and her mouth was opened in shock. Gregor lifted his hand to soothe her but stopped short when he saw it. His hand was red with the still warm blood of the teenager. A massive wave of nausea swept over him as he smelled the iron in the warm fluid. The long, bloody sword fell with a clang to the ground. Its master fell to his knees weakly, aghast at his own actions.
Suddenly, thundering footsteps could be heard from the corridor outside. Gregor’s parents were the first on the scene. It took them a few seconds to put two and two together. When they did, both of them went pale. Gregor’s mother fainted right away, while his father moved to the youngest Samsa sibling in an attempt to comfort her. A few moments later the other two lodgers came in and they instantly fell to their knees when they saw the carnage. Nobody spoke for a few tense minutes.
The eldest lodger was the first to break the silence. “You, you monster!” he shouted. “You murdered my grandson!” Gregor flinched at the first sentence. He cast his gaze to his sister for support. At this time if she could only back me up… But Gregor found that hope to be a nothing but a dream. Greta was still in a traumatized condition to speak. If anything, she is not any condition to do anything at all for quite some time. The post-traumatic experience could really shake some people hard. Gregor tried then to defend himself.
“Father, its not… he tried to force himself to Greta…” But the silver-haired man could not continue. His own voice was stuck halfway through. As if something was blocking his windpipe. This was followed by a vehement protest by the eldest lodger, “What? That’s preposterous! My grandson has a lot finer taste in women than this, this immature little girl,” Gregor felt a familiar wave of anger wash over him, but he suppressed it with great difficulty. “It’s…its true, father! I saw it with my own eyes,” Gregor said through gritted teeth. Gregor’s father however, closed his eyes for moment before saying his judgment. His words sent Gregor’s world in a turbulent spin, “I’m sorry, Gregor. But I find that hard to believe as well. Leo was a fine young gentleman. He would never do anything of the sort,” Gregor felt a part of him shatter as those words register in his mind.
“You are a monster and a liar! You should be put to the gallows for this!” the elder lodger shouted again. Gregor winced at being called monster. ‘Monster? Is that what they called the one who save his sister’s virtue? Maybe you should show these fools the real meaning of monster, child,’
“Shut up!” shouted the eldest sibling, stunning everyone in the room. Gregor turned to his sister, who shivered and hid her face to their father’s chest. “Greta, please tell them the truth. Tell them I did not kill him in cold blood. Please tell them,” This time the pleading tone in his voice could be heard by everyone. But Greta only shook her head as she hugged her father tighter. The Samsa patriarch took this as a sign of guilt. “So, that’s it eh? You intend to implicate Leo’s death by saying he tried to rape your sister. But your sister was obviously caught by her conscience when you brutally slaughtered Leo. That’s fine Greta; do not aid this murdering madman. You are no longer my son. Be gone from this house, monster!” he hugged her daughter tightly.
Yet again, Gregor felt a piece of himself shatter at those words. He looked down, unable to lift his head and gaze into everyone’s eyes. Hot tears began to form in his eyes. All at once he felt the familiar red haze of wrath and hatred began to settle around him, wrapping him in its comfortable embrace. This time the feeling was amplified several times over as the pain of betrayal stabbed deep into Gregor’s heart. ‘So this is the thanks you get for the trouble of helping your sister? You might as well leave her to her fate,’ Gregor nodded. Silently, Gregor stood up. He began to walk slowly out of the room. The lodgers quickly made way for him to pass. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on him as he ambled towards the door, the long sword was held in a reverse grip in his left hand. As he passed the door, he beheld the unconscious form of his mother. Right now, there’s nothing more he wished than to hugged that lovely woman and said his apologies. But he could not. One look at his bloodied right hand stopped him cold of any such movements to his beloved mother. No, I could not tarnish her anymore than I already did. I’m sorry mother. However, Gregor did knelt down beside her and was about to bend down to kiss her brow, when his father exploded, “Don’t you dare touch her you monster! You have done enough damage to this house already. Be gone, she does not have a murderer for a son!” Gregor jerked back, the final piece of himself shattered and died. ‘Yes, child that’s it. Give in fully to your hatred. These mere mortals do not deserve one such as you. You have long toiled just to provide a meal for them a day. Is this how they repay their provider? With betrayal? They deserve nothing but the Abyss, child,’ Gregor’s green, slitted eyes flashed as he raised his long sword.
As Gregor slowly walked away from his house, he felt empty. The void that was inside him was suppose to be fill with the love of his family was nothing more than vacuum now. As he glanced at the blazing house, he could not help but glimpse at the lone black pinioned wing on his right shoulder. He felt pain stabbing into him again; the pain of betrayal. Forever will I carry this wound for as long as I lived. Mother, am I really a monster? The soothing gentle sound of The Voice broke into his mind.
‘Personally, no child. You are not a monster. You did what you think was right. After all, that idiot did try to rape your sister, did he not?’
…Yes, you are right of course. I’m sorry. And the others too did not even try to listen to my side of the story. Just because that Leo was more ‘fine’ Gregor thought angrily
‘Do not worry child. I will not make that kind of mistake easily. I know you well enough,’ He realized he did not know much about The Voice in his head. Gregor asked The Voice, So, does the mysterious voice in my head have a name, or do I just call it The Voice? There was light laughter in his mind. Highly inquisitive, are you child? You may call me Mother if you may,’ The silver haired man was a bit surprised at this. Mother? Bad memories there, considering my last mother betrayed me.
‘Like I said I will not make that mistake. Now come to me my One Winged Angel. We shall purge this world of its impurities,’
I understand. But is other name you have…mother? Gregor asked after a slight hesitancy.
‘Yes I have. But ‘mother’ will do. My other name was JENOVA’.
Written and edited by,
Niisan, Hadi, Tress, Grace, Lilly
